Is not all it’s cracked up to be, turns out!
So today, I had the FULL day to do whatever tickled my fancy (what is the origin of that phrase?? it makes NO sense). I worked a few long days/nights in a row, Mondays are when I have class, and next week I have a pretty packed schedg’ before I hop on a plane to U of O to visit my brother (YES!!!), see Elton John (DOUBLE YES!!!), and tour the Nike campus (TRIPLE YES!!!). Today? There was NOTHING calling my name at any one specific time during the day.
I ended up lounging around till about 10am, going to the gym (workout today: 4.5 miles in 30 minutes finished off with 5 minutes of 10-incline jog/power walking, 15 minutes chest/shoulders/lats/bi’s/tri’s/squattage, 10 mins abs, 5 mins grossly blow-drying the sweat from my hair so i looked somewhat presentable to the world), buying groceries at TJs for the week (or however long they last, which is usually not long), visiting Space 15-Twenty and trying on vintage dresses (half of which would only fit if I got both a breast AND rib reduction), walking along my street and exploring all the little shops, buying my mom a Valentine’s Day treat at the gourmet market down the block, and making some sort of eggplant-chickpea dip (which could also be heated and eaten as a soup). I kept my day busy, I guess….but besides logging miles and working up a sweat, I didn’t do much. And have NO plans tonight.
Now, I am the first one to sing the praises of Me Time, of staying in, of being a little hermit-esque. While I’m pretty gregarious and high-energy, I’m an introvert by nature, and therefore am recharged by time spent ALONE, not with others (as is the case with extroverts). But tonight, for some reason, it is REALLY bugging me that I have no plans. I texted a few friends and they’re either busy or laying low. I called my parents and they are wishy-washy as to whether they want to sit in traffic or not. Which is really frustrating since this is my ONE night off and my mom and I are really trying to see each other more often, because it makes me upset that I rarely see her anymore. So I just said eff it and am now plopped on my couch with a bowl next to me that contained a little salad a mere few minutes ago (of course, I am still hungry, and will probably subject myself to lots of snackage instead of one big dinner this evening due to indecisive tastebuds).
And I am BORED.
Today has been pretty darn boring. I hate, hate, HATE boring. I could go see a show at the improv theatre by my place, but honestly, tonight was one of those rare nights that I REALLY wanted some company. Why is it that the times we crave alone time are the times we cannot get it? And now I have all the alone time in the world, it seems, and all I want is someone sitting in my living room with me drinking a bottle of wine.
This post is kind of a complainy woe-is-me post, BUT I’m writing because I am DETERMINED to find a positive in my current situation.
I guess…..I guess this is a testament to me, the fact that I don’t do Boring well. Many people would think nothing of spending hours d-king away on Facebook in the late afternoon, or deciding spur of the moment to just walk the mile or so around the neighborhood shops (and spending money, which I vowed I would not do today, since I feel like I have been spending a lot lately. On what, I have no clue. Food. Gas. A pair of jeans I didn’t need. But I like saving. A LOT). But it really pissed me off. I was like….isn’t there some sort of audition prep I could do right now? Nope. I even googled “actor; stay productive” and got NO inspiration. I mean, I’m totally stoked I ran (and ran fast, too!), but I can’t have a fantastic day just based off of a workout.
And there it is!
A fantastic workout does not equal a fantastic day.
I mean, it totally sets the MOOD for a fantastic day. But, for me to have a FANTASTIC day, I need a few things to happen:
-fantastic workout (it’s a part of fantasticness, for sure….for today: check)
-saving money/ending the day with extra cash in the wallet
-taking care of errands (check?)
-doing something to further myself as an actor
-green/root juice in lieu of lunch (it keeps me feeling refreshed and cleansed in the middle of the day, and keeps me from the second cup of coffee!)
-a dose of quiet time (just not the whole freakin day…check times 24)
-learning at least one thing (check!)
Tomorrow, I have the day free until about 4pm, when I work at the restaurant (or until 3pm, when I head over the hill to the restaurant). What can I do to maximize fantasticness?
Well, I can/will….
-get another great workout in, hopefully alongside a close friend
-deposit my spinning paycheck into the bank, drop my computer off at the Apple Store
-visit Pressed before work to stock up on my beloved juices
-buy/send valentine’s day cards for my grandparents, who don’t know how to turn on their computer (I’m not kidding.), so a funny animated e-card is completely out of the question
-contact at least one acting contact (repetitive much?)
-follow up with other job lead (visit at workplace pre-apple store)
-brainstorm sketch ideas to write/co-write.
Tonight might be boring…..but as long as I am not content in that boredness, well, I’m cool with that 🙂
ADVICE PLEA!!! QUESTION!!! What suggestions do you have for me when I get into a Boring rut and am staying in on a Friday night??? Any and all suggestions welcome. Please. Pretty please 😉
45-minute self-spin (what I call the times I spin by myself with my iPod, not in a class or teaching a class)
in no particular order:
15 minute quick ab/arm circuit, possible hike (if I have time before work)
in other news, if you read my old blog, you know I love 7-11 coffee. i realized the other day that, since I have been using my refillable cup (which reads “I take my coffee with cream, sugar, and awesome”), I now have a big problem paying more than a dollar for a cup of coffee. i’ve also become a 7-11 connoisseur of sorts. there are worse things, right?
Plain and simple: I’ve felt a disconnect from my old blog, A Joy In Class, so I’ve decided to start a new one. Hope you’re along for the ride.
“SUCCESSTRESS” is really the only thing that sounded right for me at this point in time…I tried a few other names, and everything just looked and sounded really janky. And disgenuine. And if there’s one thing that irks me, it’s disgenuine jank. Well, that and Paul Lynd. Voice like dirty rubber…may he rest in peace.
I’m in a new location, both physically and emotionally. My move to Hollywood was practical, necessary, and quite symbolic.
Practical: my Venice rent went up circa $200. I can’t pay that much extra, especially when I need to be SAVING money.
Necessity: my “drive” was starting to seem like a distant memory. This is the least characteristically Katie thing maybe ever. I’m goal oriented. I have been goal oriented since I was small and drew pictures for Minnie Mouse to give to her when we visited Disneyland so that she would love them and love me and I would be her favorite person ever. Yep, ever. I’ve always been Big Picture with my goal orientedness, but where what that last year? I blame it on a job I have since left, run by a myopic boss who believed everything the workers did was directly related to either making or breaking the enterprise, and I blame it on the area. Venice and Santa Monica are lovely. They really are. I still work in Santa Monica and a couple of my very best friends live on the westside, friends for whom I’d amputate my hand (I don’t like gun/bullet emblematic references because I am scared of guns). But when you wake up in Venice and beach life is mere minutes away – and a run by the ocean can last forever – and everyone probably smokes pot more often than they floss their teeth – and your estimated drive time equation is number of miles to destination x 5 – and you get the sense that everyone you see walking down your street took ninety minutes before they left the house trying to create an entirely new fashion trend – well, life can seem like a free-for-all. I don’t know if you remember your economics class in high school, but NOTHING in this world is free. Especially if you have goals and aspirations and a hunch that success is in your life story. Success is never built by helping hands.
Symbolic: I have lived in Los Angeles my entire life. I “lived” in Orange County during most of college, and in New York for a little under two or so months for a musical theatre intensive, but those don’t really count since they were both while I was a student, and while my education came before “real life.” But get this….I’ve lived everywhere EXCEPT Hollywood. Everywhere except the town DIRECTLY associated with The Business and Actors and Making It. I’ve been everywhere except for where it Happens. Ya dig?
So, the one caveat is that I am subletting from my friend, who is off performing 15 improv shows a week on a cruise line. I’ve unfortunately (or fortunately) fallen in LOVE with his apartment. With the unit itself, with the building, with the location, with the fact that I can tell what time it is simply by the sound of the cars outside (which, I’m noticing right now, you can actually HEAR drive by because they are not gridlocked, and sound like rolling ocean waves. Ironically.)
I am hoping, praying, crossing every finger and toe, that a place either opens up in this building by the time he returns, or he returns so loaded due to his talent and amazingness (not unlikely) that he buys a cottage of his own in the hills and I stay here (a little more unlikely). Until then, I am paying way less than my westside rent, working a lot, and MAKING THINGS HAPPEN.
This blog is meant to chronicle that last part…probably with some random anicdotes thrown in about nothing that is even remotely linear. Probably some health and fitness stuff thrown in, too, of course, both since it is a passion of mine and, I’m not gonna lie, I’m on a quest for an effective fitness and food plan right now that’ll get me down ten big ones (I know that last part has the potential of being all cringe-worthy and I would like to state for the record that I love my body and any scale/clothing goal is just an extension of that and not because any one person or thing makes me believe I should be otherwise). I gotta put that out there, because if I’m being honest on here, I’m being honest on here. Physical and physiological success to me is just as important as personal and professional success.
I’m taking classes at UCB right now, which are way too awesome for me to express in type. I love acting, and love laughing, but I love LEARNING! And I LOVE learning about acting and laughing in a NON schmactory environment. I mean, come on. If you’re acting, you’re acting because you love it and because it is fun and because it is the only way you can see getting the most out of life. For some people, traveling is “getting the most out of life.” For me, “getting the most out of life” means experiencing every single emotion of which I am capable, learning the absolute most possible about myself, and connecting with people on an inspire-and-be-inspired basis. You can’t accomplish any of that if you’ve got this pretentious Schmactor crap goin on. Everyone in my class is totally down to earth, no one is judgemental, and no one is trying to bullshit anyone else. This might not make sense all written out. I’m reading and rereading, and trying to make it make sense.
Anyway, I’m in class, and it turns out, I don’t suck! I’m actually not bad at all and have never (at least not yet) found myself grasping for straws and feeling inadequate. I’m also not holding back at all, which is something I’ve done much of my life both personally and professionally. The worry that someone will think I am saying something dumb or am lame or me worrying I look stupid or crap like that. I dunno if that is just age, or me being comfortable in myself and my brain, or both.
My main objective is to advance to the next levels of classes and find the people I mesh with and form a performance team. To me, that is my most valuable form of “exposure” – yeah, a reel is rad, a website is wicked, but me just being ME is my most valuable asset when it comes to this industry and my place in it.
Next week, I am auditioning for a musical at a small, regional theatre. I want the female lead, as it is one of my dream roles. This theatre is ass far, but I’d gladly make the trek for this gig. So I’ve got my song (a little Bonnie Raitt, yo) and I’ve got my date and time (Wednesday 7:10pm, mothaaas..), and I’m going in and singing like I’m there to set the bar.
My main objective is to set the bar, and get the role, and sing these songs like I’ve been doing since I was in a car seat, basically because I love them….my main objective isn’t really that high-stakes and long-term right now, so I gotta ponder that one….
I’m starting to fade, so that means my first new blog entry has come to a close…..until tomorrow….